Interview By Julianne Van Valkenburg
Jules Jewels Member Spotlight
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The DOG ate my homework. Really,
if you noticed that I was absent last week it was that my
mind ran elsewhere. I won't make that mistake again. Believe
me, it is no fun as a detention having to wash out Charles
wrist straps and socks by hand, if you know what I mean.
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But I am off the subject as usual.
What had really happened was that I toyed around with the idea of
going back to TC Luoma years later and doing a follow up of sorts.
When he finally agreed to it I got so excited that I spent the rest
of the week all aflutter. I lost HOURS looking out the window and
dreaming of butterflies and rainbows.
Anyway, so much has changed for us
all the past several years and here I am wanting to know if 5 years
has left a mark on this man that BOTOX cannot erase. If you are
living in a cave and have not read "ATOMIC DOG -THE TESTOSTERONE
PRINCIPALS" then wake up already.
Seriously, if you are a father, brother,
boy about to become a man- get this book. If you are a mother; sister;
girlfriend; mistress, wife-get this book. Whoever you are, there
is something to be said about a book jacket that really does allow
you to judge a book by it's cover. Go buy it . Now :
http://www.t-nation.com/readArticle.do?id=1437166
Thank you! XXOO
*(This article interview originally was published September 30,2004.
Stay tuned next week when I go after TC almost 5 years later)
***My favorite writers tend to have something in common. J.D. Salinger,
e.e. cummings, TC Luoma....What can I say, I have a thing for initials.
But the main thing about TC Luoma is that he writes as good as Salinger;
waxes poetic like cummings and just by being himself writes some
of the most entertaining and thought provoking columns out there.
I also stalk him on a regular basis
and can count on him to always pull through for me when I need something
(and I am a needy girl)..... If you are from another planet, or
are new here around these parts I highly encourage you to get over
to www.t-nation.com
and check out not just the site ,but TC's articles that you can
find all over the archives.
JULES -
I guess I will start this off by asking you about baseball season,
it is my understanding that that is one of your true passions. That
you look as forward to it as much as the yearly Victoria's Secret
catalog sale? Who you rooting for and are you a loyalist to 1 team?
TC -Yep,
I really enjoy baseball. One of the reasons no one ever sees me
during the Mr. Olympia convention is that the damn thing takes place
during the World Series.
Buncha communists!
Anyhow, I like a whole lot of teams
including the Red Sox, the Angels, the A's, the Mariners, the Cardinals
and the Padres. I follow the Pads the most closely, though, because
I spend a good deal of time in San Diego.
JULES -Were you like the "total
jock" through out school?
TC -
Nope. Super nerd. Editor of the school paper. Honor society. Woulda
been President of the Star Trek club if we had one. I was one of
those guys who didn't develop until my late teens, which in retrospect
was good. If you're really physically gifted and have the popularity
that usually comes with that, you rarely develop intellectually.
You're out partying all the time and books take a back seat.
That didn't happen to me. However,
by the time I was 18, I was a pretty decent athlete. Played football,
baseball and basketball weights about that time. Got me some wimmen,
too.
JULES- When baseball season is over
what floats your boat?
TC-
Poker, porn, politics, literature, boxing and UFC, a whole bunch
of "ologies" (biology, zoology, endocrinology, physiology)
NPR, Canadian Whiskey, The New York Times, diet Coke, Szechwan food,
cigars...that's about it.
JULES-
You are also an avid reader-tell everyone out here what is the last
great book that you read, and if you were going to recommend the
greatest book of all time (in your opinion) what would it be?
TC-
Last great book? Hmm, because of my position as editor-in-chief,
I rarely get to read fiction anymore. Instead, I'm usually reading
textbooks or pseudo textbooks. In other words, I haven't read anything
great lately. I generally avoid best sellers. I have this snobbish
attitude that ³"great art" doesn't repeat what's
been done before, and most stuff on the bestseller list is just
regurgitated fluff. And I really couldn't pin down the greatest
book of all time; that¹s too limiting. There are a bunch of
"classics" that I like, including "The Great Gatsby"
and "The Sun Also Rises," and I like almost anything by
Nabokov and Jerzy Kosinski, and I'm also a great fan of Tom Wolfe's
(the essays more than the novels). I'll probably be picking up his
next book of fiction, though, which comes out in November.
JULES- A little about T-Nation- is
that going in the direction that you'd hoped? Since the beginning
of summer with all the format changes it seems like you guys have
really gotten a lot of new members. How many do you think?
TC-
Is T-Nation going in the direction that I hoped? Yes, although part
of me wonders why we haven't gotten more National attention. We
write about some pretty cool things and I think our membership is
almost a real-life version of the movie,"Fight Club,"
and so I'm puzzled that we're still relatively unknown. However,
at the same time, I'm happy that we're too off the wall to be accepted
by the common man.
As far as new members, that's quite
a bit different from actual readers. To join, you have to fill out
a form, and most people are lazy or reluctant to do so. We have
something like 45,000 members, but that pales in comparison to the
actual readership. I can tell you that, out of all websites on the
planet, we rank at about 17,000th. Compare that to gasbag Bill O'Reilly's
site, which ranks at 98,000th, and he has all his media outlets
pushing people to the site.
JULES-
Also, and I have to ask this ,as a woman...let's see, a tad offensive
to some women (although too funny mostly) I guess, what I want to
know is do you ever get hate mail from women thinking you pushed
the envelope a little too far?
TC-
Yes, I do get hate mail from women, but these are clearly women
who can't read between the lines. One of the most controversial
essays I ever wrote was called "T-Vixen Defined," and
some women didn't read it very carefully. They thought I came off
as misogynistic when I'm anything but. It actually caused some women
to stop reading T-Nation.
The truth is, I can get just as turned
on by a woman's mind, as long as her mind is tight, juicy, and full
of snap....oops, sorry! I got a little piggy there, didn't I? Anyhow,
I really do have a thing for brainy women, too. For instance, I
have a tremendous hard-on for columnist Maureen Dowd of the NY Times.
In fact, Julianne, this intellectual bent of your questions is causing
me to sport wood for you at this very moment!
JULES-Some
of the best stuff you have written (in my opinion) is when you get
a little angst going-like "Crisis of faith" or "leave
the cave". When you write columns like that, is that when you
have the least amount of faith, that everything around us all needs
a serious adjustment attitude?
TC-It's
funny, but when I write a column like that, I get emails telling
me that they wish I'd stick to the funny stuff, and when I write
what I think is funny, they tell me to write some more inspirational
stuff. It¹s enough to make a fella' schizophrenic.
The type of column I write in any
given week is probably based on how I feel that week, so if I write
a pick-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps column, yeah, I'm probably
of the mind that everyone needs a serious attitude adjustment.
JULES-
Also, and I have to ask this. How many Grow! shakes in a day-and
your favorite way to drink one (and no "sitting in a hot tub
with super models")-I want to know what you mix in it .
TC-
I have anywhere from one to four shakes a day, depending on the
circumstances. And I'm really a basic guy when it comes to flavors.
I think adding stuff to shakes or even food is a pain in the ass.
I even think using ketchup is too much trouble; it's just food,
you know. As such my favorite way to drink one is mixed with skim
milk.
JULES-and
what are you eating -any days of sitting around in sweats eating
oreo's?
TC-
No, nothing like that, I'm sorry to say. I eat pretty clean all
the time. Once you make up your mind to eat right, then you never
have to agonize over every donut or candy that comes your way. The
answer is an automatic "no". So, I eat oatmeal, Grow!,
blueberries, salmon, spinach, broccoli, cauliflower, chicken, grass-fed
steak, and in general the same crap most people in this "sport"eat.
JULES- I picture you all James Bond
like. You know, tuxedo, fast car...but in reality what is a typical
day for you and tell me what you are doing in the gym?
TC-
You know, a couple of guys have told me that I look like the guy
who gets the shit beat out of him BY James Bond at the end of each
of his movies, but no one has ever pictured me AS James Bond.
No tuxedo, but moderately fast vehicle
(FX 45).
I wake up, feed my hounds, and then
feed myself. Then, it¹s coffee and poring over three newspapers.
I work for a couple of hours (answering emails, editing articles,
writing articles, etc.), and then go to my local coffee shop to
harass the girls that work there. After that, it's the usual work
stuff, with a mid-afternoon workout. When I relax, I go to ballgames,
eat sushi, play some poker, read, screw, play chess, toss a football,
ride a bike.
As far as the gym, over the years
I¹ve gravitated towards a type of workout where I train my
nervous system one day (using primarily Olympic lifts), do endurance-type
work the next (high reps, drop sets, etc), followed by strength/hypertrophy
workouts the next (lower reps, heavy weights, multiple sets). Coincidentally,
this is something that Charles Staley has advocated in the past.
JULES-
Have you bought any cool toys lately?
TC-I
have the same shit everybody else does: I-Pod, nice G5 computer,
HDTV. Nothing too unusual.
JULES-I
know you like your card games-here is a scenario- You are sitting
around a table and there are 5 other players. Who's money do you
want to be taking and what is the game?
TC-
Texas Hold Em, and when it comes to taking money, I'm an equal-opportunity
player. In other words, I want everyone's money.
JULES-
and finally, years from now. Would you like to see yourself kind
of like Hefner. Walking around in an ever-last robe while t-vixens
scamper on your lawn playing volleyball with your dogs nipping at
their heels? Nirvana ?
TC-
That¹s a nice image, but I have this fatal flaw that doesn't
always come across in my articles. I lust after T-Vixens, but I'm
always afraid of what they're going to say when they speak. If their
brains don't come close to matching their magnificent bodies, my
hard-on tends to go South. Hell, I've been known to pass up booty
because a girl's political beliefs didn't match mine.
I've got to get over that. I'm working
on it, I really am.
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To read more of Julianne VanValkenburgs
interviews with members,and others in the industry please visit
the interview section of Team
Staley forum.
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